Staying Sane in this Insane World.

♥ Thursday, June 9, 2011

The most dreaded day of 9th June-- Results Day!! Wasn't really apprehensive since what's done cannot be undone, and i guess i had a good vibe. Thankfully hopes weren't disappointed! A+ Blaw, A Public Policy, A- Accounting(a miracle really), B+ Comm Funds, B Financial Mgmt. So overall not too bad:) Super happy i pulled my lousy 3.63 to 4.41 for this sem, which rounds my cGPA to 4.03 :D Yayyyyss second lower to second upper. Hope can maintain though :S

With results back, it formally provides closure to the end of Year 1 of university. It truly has been an epic academic year, with brand new experiences and friends. I entered NTU with complex feelings; excitement, fear, anxiety, curiosity, and greatest of all, hope. Hope that it'll provide a new beginning, an enrichment of knowledge, a betterment of self. And after one seemingly long yet short year, I suppose i could say i found what i was hoping for. Academics-wise, i guess i did pick the correct course after all. Business is pretty much enjoyable (aside from the maths parts), and i really do love business law and found a passion in public admin (hope to pursue a minor). Plenty of project work has changed my method of approaching problems and enabled me to learn how to deal with people problems, while the interactive style in classes (well, most of the time) thickened my skin (heh) to speak up in front of people. Balancing studies with social life was a major obstacle though, and well, playful me drifted away from academic pursuit a little in sem1 (resulting in a horrible gpa). Thank goodness for the wake up call which made me strive so hard in sem2.

Hall life is a major part of varsity life, and i think life would be very diffferent if i hadn't moved to hall. I still feel that hall life is an essential part of uni, and i enjoyed the camaraderie among hall people, countless activities, and the new sense of freedom. On the downside, it did inculcate bad lifestyle habits, but well, one has to adapt to surroundings right? :p So begins the start of late nights (up and about at 3am), bad eating habits, and 101 activities that tire the shit outta me (yes, i do love to act tough and take up 101 things even when im internally dying). But well, it's all part and parcel of hall life, and i've grown to adapt to the new lifestyle (but i still think im unhealthy lol). Hall life provided me with a larger network of friends and opened my eyes to a whole lot of experiences. Clubbing and drinking are first experiences, and i've come to accept them as social norms. Not that im a good girl going bad though!! Hall prod was a brand new experience too, and i've learnt so much more being in the comm, and i loved the entire process, though it got really tough and draining at times. There were of course moments of angst and weakness, when i felt like throwing in the towel and just head home. Sometimes things just pile up, and acads + hall committments felt so suffocating. But looking back, what doesn't kill you makes you tougher! It might've been difficult, but knowing that i managed to pull through makes me so proud of my accomplishments:)

Uni life also toughened me up for the future; it shows me how humans can be selfish and befriend you for various motives besides pure friendship, and how some people resort to backstabbing and lying to achieve their goals. Unpleasant much, but that's a sad reality of life. Im just thankful i got to witness these, and learn to defend myself before i enter the ruthless world out there. And besides, there are always honest, true friends out there who really care. Special mention to the Baos who were the first people i met in ntu and whom i cherish till today, rspyouth people who are always so warm and supportive, EPIC (as always) and the exotic bunch of people in the hall prod cast + the director & producers whom gave me a purpose to work for in hall prod. And also, the random people in hall who were there to provide a listening ear, companionship, humour and laughter, food in desperate times and most importantly friendship:)

The end of an academic year, but a new one beckons. August would mark a new beginning once again. New classmates, and new blood entering the hall. The committee would've changed, and a new responsibility has to be taken up. No more a freshman:( But still, im looking forward to whatever that lies ahead! :D

whatever you want here
beautiful summer memories at5:45 AM

♥ Saturday, June 4, 2011

Angelic Little Demons. Most apt to describe kids these days. They look like cute little angels but can behave like little devils. As much as i relinquish my new role as a teacher, teaching is seriously super tough. Hauling huge bags of materials n travelling far distances to reach the venues aside, teaching itself is a major challenge. Im teaching enrichment classes for children 5-10years old, teaching science n maths thru cookery and experiments, which means things tend to get a little messy. Plus, every class i'd been to thus far always had at least a couple of trouble-makers, and it isn't easy watching over a boiling pot of agar jelly while looking out for all the little kids and preventing them from getting into trouble. It really came as a surprise the kind of discipline kids have today. Looking back, i think im a complete angel back when im in primary school! But then again, there'd be good kids in the classes too, those that do their work, help out with experiments and help me pack up stuff at the end of class. N honestly, who can stay angry at children? Sometimes im trapped between laughing and being furious at the antics they get up to, cos it really is funny hahahaha. N i totally conclude that girls behave better than boys!! 3 more weeks of teaching to go! Shall persevere and conquer them!! Fighting~~

Besides working my ass off, spent a little time in town on thu after class with benji to get spencer's birthday present. Can't exactly turn up at a dinner invite by the birthday boy without bringing a present! Somehow i always bump into the wrongest people when im out on a solo outing with a dude, and this time round managed to bump into my uncle n family. GG max. talk about stirring my own shit zzzzz.

Went to House of Seafood in Serangoon by invite of spencer sng the birthday boy. first time birthday boy treat instead of us treating. The restaurant serves awesome salted egg crab, like totally utterly awesome n i had the large pincer which was total bliss. We also had pork ribs, sambal veg, hotplate beancurd and fried rice plus chilli crab. i totally ADORE seafood! The crabs were DELICIOUS. Spencer said i look like a happy kid when munching on my crabs. lol. what can i say? good food does make me happy. hehe. nothing beats a fragrant bowl of white rice with chinese dishes:) Tried to shove him $50 for the dinner, since the bill came up to $200 for 6 of us (kiat, himself, benji, parthi, justin and me--once again im the only female =.=) but the generous host rejected it. oh wells. Not wanting the night to end so early, we headed to serangoon gardens. i had no idea a cluster of pubs and restaurants sprouted up there!! Instead of going drinking, we chose a healthier option and went ICE^3 to have icecream n dessert. It's bliss sinking into the sofa after a whole day of running after kids and travelling, sipping iced latte with choc ice cream. Had to put up with the porno talk of the guys (n they say im weird for a girl since i understand their talk..like hello, u guys are partially responsible for my 'education' lol) and hearing justin share about the experience in Laos.

And once again Spencer had the honor of sending everyone home. Serangoon -River Valley (justin)- AMK(kiat)- Yishun(Parthi)- Sengkang(me)- Pasiris(benji)- Bishan. I shld prolly compensate him for petrol or sth. lol.

Good night:)

whatever you want here
beautiful summer memories at8:56 AM

♥

Im finally back to revive my poor blog...n my LIFE! Summer's here and im oh-so-thankful for it. Thought I was gonna suffocate to death with all the work during sem time, so it's finally time for some well-deserved rest :)

Kicking off summer break was RSPYouth Chalet over the weekends till mon nite; a totally one-of-a-kind hardcore chalet different from others that i went to where people just chillaxed and played cards all day long. Over here we're hardcore-- playing frisbee and captain's ball (even brought our chairs to the park) under the blazing sun at 3pm in the aftnn. N then again at midnite till 2am. Obvious nutcases. Instead of the usual bbq for dinner, we had a heartwarming steamboat while watching Kungfu Panda. Then it was card games all night long, with a couple of new games; Saboteur and Bang! plus all-nighter mahjong. Slept 2hours in 2days. I think i nearly died..age is catching up with me..lol. Ended off my stay there with a k-session ($8 for 7-10pm: cheap!) which i enjoyed sooooo much:) Overall, awesome chalet!! :)

Had Mystery Lunch @ The Ship with Shir, Janice, Binks n Marvin on tue; the famous restaurant was hidden at some obscure corner on the 4th floor of Shaw Centre (i din even noe there's 4th floor). First time tasting escargots! Quite delicious actually. Had sirloin steak plus fried banana for dessert. Yumyum. Went to shop around orchard; summer fashion makes me happy cos of the happy colors:) Then had a mini Bao gathering with woonchuan, eugene, audrey, weijie & his gf (finally the reveal) to get Calister's 21st birthday present. It's always a warm affair hanging out with the Baos, a feeling of coming home somehow, cos they're such kind, pure people:)

Spent time with family on wed n thu. went over to the hospital n aunt's house to accompany my aunt. Sorta like making up for lost time since i disappeared during the exam period, but of course, time that has passed can never come back. Still, it felt good to lie back and relax for a couple of days instead of rushing around meeting people.

Spent fri afternnon with EPIC at Playnation before Nic flies off to Beijing for GIP. $6 for 4hours is pretty reasonable! N as usual, mayhem broke out. After all, this is EPIC we're talking about. If we can have plenty of laughs doing a project, imagine the chaos playing games. I really am gonna miss this bunch of people next sem when victor n jeremy fly off for exchange. Wonder if melvin and nic can stay in hall....if not i wld've lost my best study buddies:( It ain't easy for 6 strangers to come together and click instantly...so i guess..we're magic:)

Spent the night at Timbre @ Arts House. Had to queue for friggin long even after arriving early, but the food and music was worth waiting for. Pity the night was cut short with Thadd and Jolene leaving early, and i couldn't stay out late cos of work training the next day. Spence grumbled over me leaving early cos he specially drove the car out thinking we're gonna hang out late. Whoops. haha. Anyways, the remaining guys headed to weilun's place for overnight mahjong after they drove me home so it wasn't a total lost cause, but i wasted their time (& petrol) cos being a road idiot i missed 2 exits when giving directions to my place :p heh.

The weekend was spent at work training and prepping for lessons for the week. Turning into a teacher! Gonna be teaching kids' enrichment classes at community clubs around the island. Hope i don't get lost finding my way! Crossing fingers. lol. Sat night was spent at Cali's place for her 21st Birthday Party but only a handful of Baos could make it.. woonchuan, audrey, kahyee and surprisingly Marcus. That fella disappeared for the sem so since he makes such a rare appearance i HAD to make the most out of teasing him. hahahahah. he also happens to be the only guy who got drunk drinking just 2 plastic cups of wine and 1 can of Tiger. Lousy bum. It was a good nite, and cali even had friends performing songs n they sang pretty well. im impressed with guys who sing well :p Wonder how my 21st will turn out..

N that marks the end of summer break week one. More adventures to come! :)

whatever you want here
beautiful summer memories at8:00 AM

♥ Thursday, April 14, 2011

Wish i could switch off my brain n go to sleep. The end of production marks the start of proper mugging and it ain't that bad having much more free time. Anyways, hall activities are still packing weekday nights even without nightly rehearsals. It's a sense of relief to have ended my duties..for now. Now's the period of considering whether to re-run for comm next year, and i've got a feeling if i re-run i'd end up as director. It's so hard to weigh the pros and cons of the decision. I love the stage, i love acting and directing, but being director isn't just about that. It's about the 1001 random admin stuff that goes on behind the scenes, a greater responsibility to be a role model and leader to juniors, the need to show face at hall events. It's gonna be way more tiring and challenging than it is this time round. N well, i really really wanna go on overseas exchange if my grades can make it... too many factors to weigh..

Studies are crap. It's like im forever lagging behind cos there's just so much work accumulated. It's madness really. Time to find back the determination and commitment i had at the start of the sem!! Last 3 weeks to the finals, time to redeem my gpa!!

Amongst the hustle and bustle of life, there are tiny little happy things that keep me going though :) Going back to the Boys' Home after 2months was wonderful. It was as if i never missed a weekly session, and the fellow volunteers welcomed me back so naturally. My insecurities of having to re-establish friendships disappeared as i went back to doing my favourite thing-volunteering. I seriously adore the boys there, and it's so fun to banter and play games with them. It's like a trip back to more innocent and happy days :)

Happy thing no 2 is the ability to SLEEP MORE. finally hitting 6hours a day instead of 4. It really does make a difference!! N of cos, im turning into more of a sloth. Need greater restraint!

Tonight marks the last of hall activities for the year. Im actually pretty much looking forward to Hall Appreciation Night @ Fort Canning. It's a nice recap of what we did over the past year, and besides, it's FREE. lol. It may also be the last chance to see some of the familar faces in hall, given that seniors are graduating/ppl going exchange/ppl not getting a room next sem. I guess im gonna miss the people who make up this vibrant community here.

whatever you want here
beautiful summer memories at10:49 PM

♥ Sunday, March 27, 2011

Finally, the end of production!!! It had been an exhausting recess week spent on rehearsals every day, though i have to say the ardous journey was worth it. The response on production day itself was awesome. Somehow, through some miracle or something, we sold about 300+ tickets :) Not a full house, but good enough! Have to applaud the cast for their fab performance; they really put in their best at Jubilee Hall with barely a missed line or cue, and the crew worked really hard too, working with the props and sounds and lights. The effect onstage was beyond my expectations and with the sound and lights effects i was pretty impressed myself by what we eventually accomplished. Despite not acting, gotta say i experienced the pre-performance jitters too. Was nervous as hell backstage before the show started, pacing behind the curtains hearing the sounds from the audience get louder and louder. Was really worried that Act 1 would be so boring that it'd put people to sleep, but surprisingly the audience laughed at all the lame jokes and even lines that weren't meant to be jokes (which got abit annoying towards the end since we're reaching the serious part). The support was a huge morale booster for both the cast and us who were watching from backstage! hahah me n yuzheng were like 'wtf?!' backstage when we heard the responses. Production Success!! Reflections.. It felt pretty surreal on production day itself, realising that all the late nights/rehearsals/blood/sweat/tears were all for that one performance. Whatever that we worked so hard for were gonna be realised on stage that night. Suddenly it seems as though everything has gone by too fast. Ironic isn't it; wishing we'd just get over everything fast when we're still at it, yet wishing time would slow down when we finally reached the finale. 15min before the house went live, the cast, weilun and i had this spiritual circle thingy in the dressing room. Spencer did the honors, calmly cooling the cast down. Everyone closed eyes and held hands while he talked about how far we've come, and it's time to give our best shot. Then the D went on to place the cast in their characters. For that moment, i was touched. Looking around at the cast, i had a suddenly flashback of how i first met every one of them, and the times we spent together at rehearsals, dinners/suppers and htht sessions. A sudden surge of emotions, realising how thankful i am to have gotten to know them. Hall prod has taken up a huge part of my life especially ever since december where rehearsals got more intense, and everyone has sacrificed in one way or another for the production. It was never an easy journey, and i had my moments of weakness and threw my fair share of tempers. Guess i am guilty for being a little extreme at times, and for that im apologetic to those who worked with me. But well, it wouldn't be as memorable if the whole journey was smooth and happy right? :p Now that everything's over, it's time to get back to studies (alot of catching up to do!). But i really really hope that we'd all stay as close cos i really grew to love the people i work with :)

whatever you want here
beautiful summer memories at3:23 AM

♥ Thursday, March 10, 2011

i feel strangely disconcerted when some people treat me too well, because i'll feel like i owe them something, like i don't deserve the nice-ness. like how breakfast was delivered to my doorstep at 4-5am in the morning today. like how you'd travel all the way just to pass me stuff. like being concerned when im still online at 3am doing work. it's tiny little stuff that shows how much you care, n i can't handle it. because i don't deserve it. it makes me feel bad i can't do anything in return, and because as long as you don't reveal your intentions i have no right to push you away. i wish u'd be a little less selfless, and search for your happiness elsewhere, because this ain't going anywhere. i sincerely hope the best for you, and as much as i appreciate your care, i wouldn't want you to waste your efforts on me. sorry. i really really don't deserve this.

whatever you want here
beautiful summer memories at12:05 AM

♥ Saturday, March 5, 2011

Decided to stay in hall over the weekends since rehearsal ended late on fri nite n there's gonna be sunday rehearsal. The silence was a little disconcerting, but it felt good to sleep alone. Guess i'll never be able to get used to sleeping with someone else in the room. Felt a little disappointed that YL pangsehed me for our maggie mee supper, but it's not his fault since he had to go home to get stuff for DB next day. missed the htht sessions with my godbro. anyways i managed to dig some info outta thadd via msn about mr anonymous. turns out mr anonymous with the rose was spotted by him!!! BUT HE REFUSE TO TELL ME WHO. ANGSTY MAX. oh wells.. i'll pry the info out soon!

Been a great morning though! Really appreciate melvin travelling back to sch to mug with me for the day. Satisfied craving for mac hotcakes with Michelle n Melvin in the morning =) Tiny little slices of happiness in life. Productivity wasn't fab but at least work got done. N of cos, mugging with someone else is always much more enjoyable! So yea, really thankful Pudd's such a yesman LOL

Thanks for the movie outing too! had a relaxing night away from hall for once. =)

whatever you want here
beautiful summer memories at1:38 AM

♥ Wednesday, March 2, 2011

which is usually what you want to see but not what i am feeling.

whatever you want here
beautiful summer memories at9:52 PM