>>>received these happy Get Well Pills from Audrey thru msn when i fell sick; how i wish there were miracle Get Well Pills for MaMa too. =(
It came as a rude shock finding out that Aunt Monica's (MaMa) down with cancer. The news came a month ago and she went thru an op to get rid of one of the tumors and now has to go thru chemotherapy. I've always heard of people coming down with cancer, but it never occurred to me that someone so close to heart could contract such a horrible illness. Mum and dad are spending weekdays at Ah Ma's house to care for her in the day, and i can see that the travelling and worrying are taking its toll, and im specially worried for my mum as it must be difficult to see her going through so much suffering everyday and yet maintaining a positive outlook. Being away from home and hiding in hall for the past 2 weeks, im feeling guilty for not visiting her=(
MaMa has always been the pillar of support in the family, and treated everyone of us kids as her own children. Now that she's down with an illness, i wish i could be there for her. Visiting her last nite sent a stab through my heart-- seeing that she lost alot of weight and lost her color, and almost losing her voice. Once so strong, now so vulnerable and weak. Her eyes turned moist when she saw me and she asked about how my exams went, how it must be tough staying in hall for the period. It makes me even guiltier, knowing she had been thinking about me, missing me. Her eyes turned red again when i said goodbye.
It pains me knowing how much she's suffering inside, yet i feel so helpless. Somehow the right words don't come, the actions don't seem right. I don't know how i can show how much i care, how i wish i can take away her pain. Im not good at expressing myself in the family, and a sudden burst of concern may be viewed as hypocrism. But i wish so bad i could do something, anything, to make her feel better.
Really hope you'll get well soon. =(
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beautiful summer memories at2:12 AM
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