The D wasn't kidding when he said it's gonna be madness closer to the production. It's rehearsals virtually every night and on sundays, which eats up a whole load of time. But thankfully, managed to catch a breather this week. After lagging in work for some time, im finally back on track (well, i think). First week in ages since i finished all my tutorials before class!! A huge sense of relief there. I really really hate being unprepared in class cos i feel like such a noob.
Hall prod's such immense fun really. It's tiring no doubt, and i get back to the room close to midnight every night, but it's just so enjoyable in the process. I lurve my cast lots lots, being so funny and all, and i appreciate their being so understanding. Im so afraid of turning into a tyrant n pissing people off, but sometimes the hardest things and the right things are the same. It's tough striking a balance, but guess that's what i gotta learn. In a month's time..this is all gonna be over..will i be able to get back to life before hall prod?
Sometimes..it's just so hard to describe the feeling i get. It's those fleeting moments.. what exactly am i trying to achieve? Sometimes i can't figure out what in the world im working so hard for, why exhaust my effort on things that probably don't matter. It's those quiet moments at night tossing n turning in bed, contemplating the 1001 things, and getting myself stuck in a rut. I miss dreamless sleep. It's also the weird sense of loneliness sometimes.. like how i'd probably fall off the face of the earth and no one would give a damn. how i wish someone could be there to catch me when i fall, just someone to rant to, someone who'll tell me everything's gonna be fine. It's so hard to find a soul mate to talk to. N it's just so hard to push you outta my mind cos u don't deserve to be in there. Who am i trying to deceive? It's turning into self-persuasion, saying you don't matter. Cheating myself that everytime i walk past your block there won't be the little hope that'll you'll appear. Wondering if the anonymous rose came from you. Small little things really.. i no longer know how i feel. I know it'll never work out. Even if u asked me now, i wouldn't know how to respond. All messed up.
whatever you want here
beautiful summer memories at9:54 PM
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I'm the girl you never get just quite what you see. I love to dream. I love music. I love to travel. I love exploring. Im quirky in my own way; I don't like to conform. I love the way i just am. <3
